25 Weekly Relationship Check-In Questions for Couples
Research-backed check-in questions to deepen your connection and prevent small issues from becoming big problems. Start your weekly ritual today.
A weekly relationship check-in is a dedicated 15-20 minute conversation where couples intentionally discuss how they're feeling about their relationship, share appreciations, and address small concerns before they grow into bigger problems.
Research from the Gottman Institute shows that couples who regularly check in with each other are better at catching issues early and report feeling more emotionally connected overall. The happiest couples don't just hope things work out—they make time to connect intentionally.
Why Are Weekly Check-Ins Important for Couples?
Weekly check-ins matter because they create a predictable, safe space for honest conversation. Think of it like maintenance for your car: you don't wait until the engine fails to change the oil. Similarly, you shouldn't wait until you're frustrated to talk about how things are going.
A 15-20 minute weekly conversation can:
- Prevent buildup of small annoyances
- Create safety for sharing harder things
- Build intimacy through regular vulnerability
- Celebrate wins you might otherwise forget
What Questions Should You Ask in a Relationship Check-In?
The best check-in questions cover five key areas: understanding each other's week, checking in on your relationship, expressing appreciation, discussing dreams, and handling logistics. Here are 25 research-backed questions organized by category.
Understanding Each Other's Week
- What was the best part of your week?
- What was the hardest part?
- Is there anything you're still thinking about from this week?
- What are you looking forward to next week?
- Is there anything you're dreading?
Checking In On Your Relationship
- On a scale of 1-10, how connected did you feel to me this week?
- What's one thing I did this week that made you feel loved? (Tip: Understanding your partner's love language helps here!)
- Is there anything I did that hurt you, even unintentionally?
- What's one way I could support you better next week?
- Did we have enough quality time together?
Expressing Appreciation and Gratitude
- What's something you appreciate about me right now?
- What's a small thing I do that you're grateful for?
- Is there something I've done recently that you want to acknowledge?
Dreams and Goals
- What's something you're excited about working toward?
- How can I better support your personal goals?
- Is there something you want us to do together soon?
- What's a dream you haven't shared with me lately?
Logistics and Life
- Is there anything practical we need to discuss or decide?
- How are we doing on our shared responsibilities?
- Is there anything on your plate that I could help with?
Going Deeper
- What's been on your mind that you haven't said out loud yet?
- Is there anything you need from me emotionally right now?
- What would make you feel more secure in our relationship?
- Is there something you wish we talked about more?
- What's one thing you love about us?
How Do You Have an Effective Relationship Check-In?
Follow these five tips to make your check-ins more meaningful:
Pick a consistent time. Sunday evenings work well for many couples. The key is making it a ritual, not a random occurrence.
Remove distractions. Put phones away completely. This isn't scrolling-together time—it's focused connection time.
Listen without fixing. When your partner shares, resist the urge to immediately solve. Sometimes they just need to be heard.
Start with appreciation. Beginning with what's going well creates psychological safety for discussing harder topics.
Keep it short. You don't need to ask all 25 questions. Pick 3-5 that feel relevant each week.
Make It Easier with Middly
These conversations are powerful, but starting them can feel awkward. That's exactly why we built Middly. The app guides you and your partner through meaningful check-ins, helping you share what matters and understand each other better.
Each week, you'll both answer a few thoughtful prompts. Then our AI connection coach synthesizes your responses, highlighting what you have in common and where you might need to talk more.
It takes the pressure off figuring out what to say, so you can focus on actually connecting. Plus, you can take our free love language quiz to understand how each of you prefers to give and receive love.
Looking for more ways to connect? Check out our guide to communication apps for couples.
Frequently Asked Questions
How often should couples do check-ins?
Once a week is ideal for most couples. Weekly check-ins are frequent enough to catch issues early but not so frequent that they feel like a chore. Some couples prefer twice-weekly during stressful periods.
How long should a relationship check-in take?
A good check-in takes 15-20 minutes. This is long enough to have a meaningful conversation but short enough to fit into a busy schedule. You can always go longer if the conversation flows naturally.
What if my partner doesn't want to do check-ins?
Start small. Suggest trying it once as an experiment. Many partners who resist at first find that check-ins actually reduce conflict and make them feel closer. Frame it as wanting to be a better partner, not as fixing a problem.
When is the best time for a weekly check-in?
Sunday evenings work well because you can reflect on the past week and prepare for the week ahead. However, any consistent time works—what matters most is that you protect this time each week.
The best relationships aren't the ones without problems. They're the ones where both people keep showing up to work on them together.
Luis Villamil
Building Middly to help couples feel closer together.