Free Love Language Quiz for Couples: Discover How You Give and Receive Love
Take our free love language quiz and discover your primary love language. Learn how understanding love languages can transform your relationship.
Want to understand how you and your partner prefer to give and receive love? Take our free love language quiz to discover your primary love language and start connecting more deeply.
The love languages framework, developed by Dr. Gary Chapman, suggests that people express and receive love in five primary ways. When you understand your partner's love language, you can show love in ways that truly resonate with them—rather than missing the mark with gestures that don't land.
What Are the 5 Love Languages?
Dr. Chapman identified five primary ways people communicate love. Most people have one or two dominant love languages, though all five may matter to some degree.
1. Words of Affirmation
If Words of Affirmation is your love language, you feel most loved when your partner expresses appreciation, encouragement, and affection through words—whether spoken, written, or texted.
You might have this love language if:
- Compliments make your whole day better
- Hearing "I love you" never gets old
- Criticism cuts deeply
- You treasure love notes and meaningful messages
- Verbal encouragement motivates you
How to speak this language:
- Give specific compliments ("You handled that situation so thoughtfully")
- Express gratitude for small things
- Send unexpected texts of appreciation
- Leave notes in surprise places
- Verbalize what you love about your partner
2. Quality Time
People with Quality Time as their primary language feel most loved when they have their partner's undivided attention. It's not about being in the same room—it's about being truly present together.
You might have this love language if:
- You feel disconnected when your partner is distracted
- Date nights are essential for you
- You prefer experiences over gifts
- Having meaningful conversations fills your cup
- Eye contact and attention matter deeply to you
How to speak this language:
- Put phones away during conversations
- Schedule dedicated one-on-one time
- Make eye contact while listening
- Plan activities you can do together
- Be fully present, not just physically there
3. Receiving Gifts
This love language isn't about materialism—it's about the thoughtfulness and effort behind gifts. People with this language feel loved when they receive tangible symbols of affection.
You might have this love language if:
- Thoughtful gifts move you deeply
- You keep mementos and souvenirs
- A missed birthday or anniversary hurts significantly
- You notice when your partner brings you small things
- The thought behind a gift matters more than its price
How to speak this language:
- Give small, thoughtful gifts regularly
- Remember what they mentioned wanting
- Bring back souvenirs from trips
- Create handmade gifts
- Never miss important occasions
4. Acts of Service
When Acts of Service is your love language, you feel most loved when your partner shows care through helpful actions. Actions speak louder than words for these people.
You might have this love language if:
- You notice when your partner helps without being asked
- Broken promises to help feel like betrayal
- Having chores done for you is deeply meaningful
- You show love by doing things for others
- "Let me help you with that" is music to your ears
How to speak this language:
- Complete tasks without being asked
- Take things off their to-do list
- Ask "How can I help today?"
- Follow through on promises
- Do their chores when they're overwhelmed
5. Physical Touch
People with Physical Touch as their primary language feel most connected through physical affection. This includes both intimate touch and everyday physical connection.
You might have this love language if:
- You reach for your partner naturally
- Physical presence brings comfort during stress
- Lack of touch makes you feel distant
- You prefer sitting close together
- Hugs and holding hands matter to you
How to speak this language:
- Initiate non-sexual touch regularly
- Hold hands while walking
- Sit close together on the couch
- Hug hello and goodbye
- Offer physical comfort during hard times
Why Knowing Your Love Language Matters
Understanding love languages transforms relationships because it solves the "I'm trying but nothing works" problem. Here's why:
You Stop Speaking Past Each Other
Many couples argue "I show love all the time, and you never notice!" The issue often isn't effort—it's translation. You might be showing love in your language while your partner waits to receive it in theirs. This is why communication apps for couples can be so helpful—they create structured ways to understand each other.
You Feel More Appreciated
When your partner learns your language and speaks it, their efforts actually register. Love doesn't go unnoticed when it arrives in the right form.
You Give Love More Effectively
Instead of guessing what your partner wants, you know. This makes every gesture more impactful and efficient.
You Understand Relationship Friction
Many recurring conflicts trace back to unmet love language needs. Recognizing this dynamic helps you address root causes rather than surface symptoms.
Take the Free Love Language Quiz
Ready to discover your love language? Take our free love language quiz to find out how you prefer to give and receive love.
The quiz takes about 5 minutes and covers scenarios that reveal your natural preferences. Even better, you and your partner can both take it and compare results.
Here's what you'll learn:
- Your primary love language
- Your secondary love language
- How you compare with your partner
- Practical tips for speaking each other's language
How Couples Can Use Love Languages
Once you know your love languages, here's how to put that knowledge into action:
Share Your Results
Have an open conversation about what your results mean. Discuss specific examples of when you felt loved and when you felt your needs weren't met.
Learn Your Partner's Language
Commit to expressing love in your partner's language, even if it feels unnatural at first. Like learning any language, it gets easier with practice.
Ask for What You Need
Don't assume your partner should just know. Clearly communicate what actions or words make you feel loved.
Notice the Effort
When your partner tries to speak your language, acknowledge it—even if they're still learning. Positive reinforcement helps.
Revisit Regularly
Love languages can shift over time or in different life circumstances. Take the quiz again periodically and keep the conversation going.
Want to go deeper? Combine love language insights with Gottman Method principles for even stronger connection.
Common Love Language Mistakes
Avoid these pitfalls when applying the love languages framework:
Using It As an Excuse
"That's not my love language" shouldn't be a reason to never express love in certain ways. You can learn to speak any language.
Assuming It's the Whole Picture
Love languages are one tool, not a complete relationship guide. Communication, trust, respect, and compatibility matter too.
Ignoring Secondary Languages
Most people have more than one love language that matters. Don't focus so narrowly on the primary that you neglect others.
Expecting Instant Change
Learning a new way of expressing love takes time. Be patient with yourself and your partner.
Love Languages in Middly
When you take the love language quiz in Middly, you don't just get results—you get ongoing support. The app generates weekly challenges tailored to your partner's love language, making it easy to practice speaking their language consistently.
Plus, our AI connection coach incorporates love language insights into the guidance it provides during sessions.
Frequently Asked Questions
How accurate are love language quizzes?
Love language quizzes are self-reported, so their accuracy depends on your self-awareness and honesty. They're most useful as conversation starters and general guides rather than definitive classifications. Your real-life observations matter as much as quiz results.
Can your love language change?
Yes. While people often have stable preferences, love languages can shift due to life circumstances, relationship experiences, or personal growth. Someone who valued Quality Time during a busy career phase might shift toward Acts of Service when facing health challenges.
What if my partner and I have different love languages?
This is common and completely workable. Different love languages simply mean you need to learn each other's languages rather than assuming your partner wants what you want. Many strong couples have different primary languages.
Can I have more than one love language?
Absolutely. Most people have one or two dominant languages, but all five may matter to varying degrees. The quiz helps you understand your hierarchy, but don't ignore languages that rank lower.
What if I don't relate to any love language strongly?
Some people have relatively balanced scores across all languages, or their preferences depend heavily on context. This is normal. Use the framework as a guide, not a rigid rule.
Love isn't just about feeling—it's about communicating in ways your partner can truly receive. Understanding love languages bridges that gap.
Luis Villamil
Building Middly to help couples feel closer together.